Night of the reaping

I'm in a foul mood
Bathing in a sea of purple lights
Browsing a crystal-lit moonscape
For a grain of control

Big-nosed women with horn instruments
And siblings, sleeping on my shoulders
I cannot find discipline
Except for when the stars are out

Are you just
Passing me by?
A speck of dust
A cracked marble, about to bust?

Are they just
Living on?
Remembering me
Distantly
And silently on?

I clench the hours that still remain
Scan my bedroom walls for friends' faces
My keyboard is covered with a greasy stain
Accumulated dirt from bygone places

Work
I have to work
Restore myself
Everything else - it will follow